Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and a Song

I have been amazed this week by the simple things in life that can unexpectedly touch my heart! I have had that happen twice this week!

One day at lunch, I was preparing grilled cheese sandwiches for my family. As I was spreading butter on the bread, preparing to grill the sandwiches, my thoughts went back a few years to our days in Maryland. Tim was the associate pastor at a church in a suburb of Washington DC, on the Maryland side. It was a very interesting place to live. With most countries having embassies in Washington DC, plus other folks who have emigrated for various reasons, we met people from all over the world during our time there. Ben and Will were going through baby and toddler days at that time.

I became friends with two women originally from China. I invited one of those friends, Yong Ching, over for lunch one day. I served soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. We spent time chatting and our kids enjoyed playing together. It was fun.

A few weeks later, my other friend originally from China named Ashley, invited me over to her house for lunch. It was a similar time, with our kids playing together and she, too, served grilled cheese sandwiches and soup.

She asked me: "Do you know who taught me how to make grilled cheese sandwiches?"

I answered: "No, I don't know who taught you. Who?"

She said, with a smile: "You did!"

I was puzzled. "What?" I had no recollection of teaching her this.

She laughed. Ashley explained that, when Yong Ching was at my house for lunch, she observed very closely as I prepared the grilled cheese sandwiches. She later told Ashley how to make them, based on her observations. Ashley told me her daughters were so happy when she learned to make them! They had tried them at school lunch and really liked them. Ashley had tried every way she could think of to make them and they turned out bad! She tried the oven, the toaster and the microwave, all with negative results.

Grilled cheese seems simple to me, but only because it is familiar. Ashley and Yong Ching make the most delicious egg rolls I have ever tasted, and that is common place to them. I would have just as hard a time figuring out how to make an egg roll as they had trying to make grilled cheese!

My sandwich making this week reminded me of that time and those two wonderful friends.

Another day, I was running a couple of errands with my son, Ben. He played me a song in my car that he especially wanted me to hear. The band's drummer had the wonderful experience with his wife of having a baby, also named Benjamin, but the day turned bittersweet when the drummer's father died that very day. They wrote a song about it.

The lyrics of the song took me back, reminding me of various memories, thoughts and feelings. I found myself connecting emotionally as I listened to the beautiful words and music. I thought of my dad, who died in 2003, and realized I see his eyes in Ben's. I hadn't noticed how much Ben's eyes look like my dad's until that song said something similar. I had a flood of memories from the births of both Ben and Will, and of their brother, Ryan, stillborn several years ago.

We both had tears in our eyes by the time the song was over. I made an innocuous comment about a truck with a snow plow in the next lane, wondering if we were expecting snow. I realized I was trying to distract myself from the deep emotions that song had stirred up.

As we made our way through Walmart, our last stop, I suddenly realized something from long ago that I had never understood. The day I found out, by ultrasound, that our first baby had died and I would have to go through labor and delivery knowing that painful truth, my Dad had driven me to my appointment. Once we heard the shocking news, we contacted Tim, who was at work, and arranged to meet him at home to pack to go to the hospital.

On the drive to my house, my Dad talked about baseball and all sorts of other things. I was puzzled how he could think about those things with the news we had just received. As I walked through Walmart, I realized, just as I had done with the snowplow, my Dad was passing the time, probably trying to ease the horrible ache and dread in both of our hearts. I knew he cared deeply, but I had misinterpreted his chatter to mean that he didn't. This was a real 'ah ha, now I get it' kind of moment!

After making our purchases, we headed home. On the way back, I asked Ben if he would play the song again, and he did. We were both impacted deeply again as our minds and hearts connected with the lyrics.

Wow, songs and grilled cheese sandwiches. Who would think that could touch the heart! Moments like this often come about in the most unexpected ways.